domingo, 6 de diciembre de 2009

Las siete cosas que me gustan de una mujer

Escribí esta nota también en inglés para unos amigos que me lo pidieron. No es tan larga como parece.
English version below
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Sigamos con las listas. Cuando escribí la nota titulada "Ella no está interesada" una amiga me sugirió (o pidió, quizás) que escriba una lista que dé ayudas para saber cuándo los hombres estamos interesados en una mujer. Al consultarlo con otras amigas me dijeron lo mismo. Bueno, yo creo que los hombres somos tan básicos que se nos nota cuándo alguien nos interesa y cuándo no, así que la lista sería muy corta e incluso tonta. Es más, partamos de la base de que los hombres somos más dados a que nos guste alguna mujer que al contrario, ya sea por razones antropológicas, sociales o lo que sea. En cambio una mujer es más selectiva para escoger "pareja", hay más requisitos. A los hombres nos basta con que nos atraiga físicamente; no hay muchas vueltas qué darle a este tema. Obvio, hay cosas que suman como la personalidad, la compatibilidad, etc., pero a los hombres todo nos entra por los ojos.

Es por eso que decidí escribir qué es lo que nos (me) gusta de una mujer. Vamos a ver qué tan perdido estoy del resto de mis congéneres. Si me desvío mucho de la realidad se reciben correcciones. He aquí la lista:

1. Vístete apropiadamente.
Nada más llamativo que una mujer que se vista bien, que es diferente de vestirse llamativa, porque esto no aplica en todas las situaciones. Puede que en otras ciudades no sea así, pero al menos en Bogotá las mujeres muy "llamativas" no aguantan; aquí ya son lobas. Hay ocasiones en que quieres verte llamativa como en una rumba, una fiesta, evento social de algarabía y jolgorio; pero no siempre aplica. Saberse vestir depende de la ocasión: En la oficina se debe usar algo elegante y sobrio. A mí me matan las nenas elegantes, que se vean interesantes, falda, gafas, quizás el pelo recogido, uno que otro día con algún escote disimulado. Formal y sobrio, insisto; de por Dios bendito no te lleves el escote ombliguero a la oficina por dos razones: (1) No se ve bien en ese ambiente y (2) no vas a dejar trabajar a ninguno de tus compañeros hombres heterosexuales. En cambio si estás en una fiesta muestra alguito, déjate ver que eso es lo que vende. Deja las gafas en el bolso, suéltate el pelo, alborótate y libérate un poquito. Voy a repetir y reforzar: Un poquito. No hay necesidad de que le subas la pierna a todos tus parejos de baile.

2. Sé interesante.
Me encantan las mujeres interesantes. Yo creo que todos podemos tener algo de interesantes y el truco está en saber qué es. No hables sólo de ti y de cómo te ves. Por supuesto tampoco de cómo se ve o se vio alguien que ni siquiera conocemos. No nos interesa!!! Puedes hablar de cómo te fue en el día, del trabajo o la universidad, así también te dejas conocer y el hombre se interesará en ti. Es clave ser buena conversadora. Un tip: deja fluir la conversación y pasar de un tema a otro naturalmente. Empezar hablando del clima y terminar en la anatomía del pingüino pasando por la gripa equina, no importa. Lo que sí importa es que ambos disfruten la conversación, ojalá se rían juntos. Tampoco sueltes toda tu vida de corrido y hables sin parar, hay que dejar que el otro hable. Conversación, no monólogo.

3. Sé pícara.
Uffff. Mujer que me conozca de verdad, sabe que me encanta la picardía y la considero muy importante. Si quisiera hablar con monjas me metería de cura. Creo que hay que tener ese no-se-qué que emociona. No se trata de ser malas sino pícaras. La maldad ya implica perjudicar a alguien y pues... no. En cambio, la picardía es hacer algo que puede considerarse "malo" en algún contexto particular, pero que se puede disfrutar mucho. Genial una mirada pícara, cómplice. Súper una conversación emocionante. Por si se lo están preguntando, no está sólo en el aspecto sexual. Robarse el chocobreak del escritorio y luego reponerlo con un ferrero aguanta. Dejar un post it con un saludito inocente sin que nadie más lo sepa, emociona y crea compicidad. Hay que jugar, generar complicidad, ser hasta cierto punto niños. Divertirse con la vida (no confundir con irresponsabilidad). Una mujer divertida es un imán.

4. No seas intensa.
Si una mujer divertida es un imán, una mujer intensa es un repelente. ¿Baygon Men ™ ? Qué pereza estar en la oficina y recibir la llamada para despedirse con aquel "mándame un besito". O esos "con quién estáasss?", "Me quiereeeessss?", "por qué no me has llamadoooo?". Tampoco aguanta celar por todo y con todas. Es normal tener amigos y amigas, y no tenemos romances con todas nuestras amigas. De pronto con alguna, pero no me voy a meter en la vida personal de ninguno, cada quién sabrá. Si desde que empiezas a salir con alguien ya lo estás controlando o quieres saberlo todo sobre él estás mal y lo vas a espantar. Contrólate!

5. Let it be.
Tal como hay que dejar que las conversaciones fluyan, también las relaciones hay que dejarlas fluir, sobre todo al principio. No hay que forzar nada (esto me cuesta trabajo a mí, yo sé que predico pero poco aplico). Las cosas por obligación no se hacen bien.

6. Disfrútalo.
Qué pereza salir con alguien que vive amargado, preocupado o estresado. Si estás empezando a salir con alguien... por qué no lo disfrutas? Pásala rico, déjate llevar. La etapa más bacana de una relación es el principio, la conquista, el sustico, la mariposa, la vaina. Y si esa parte que es la mejor no la disfrutas pues no vas a disfrutar nada. No te pongas en el plan de "será que sí? será que no?". Pásala bueno, esa es la premisa. No se vive dos veces. Como decía antes: ser divertida es un imán, la risa es contagiosa y la sonrisa es atractiva. Una mujer que sonríe sinceramente se ve más hermosa que otra que no lo hace.

7. Sé sincera y no seas tan calculadora.
Esto va relacionado directamente con el punto anterior. Debes ser sincera contigo y con el otro. Si alguien te gusta, te gusta. Si no te gusta, házselo saber y ya. Tampoco te pongas en el plan de "bueno, como él no me ha llamado desde ayer entonces yo no lo llamo hasta mañana". Baaaaah, patrañas. Sé natural, tranquila. Odio que una mujer no sea sincera y clara con las cosas. Cuando eso me ha pasado sólo me he dicho una palabra: "Neeeeeeeext". Si alguien no es sincero no vale la pena, así de sencillo. De manera que si quieres conquistar a alguien no seas truculenta ni andes jugando con nadie. Sinceridad.

En últimas todo va a que hay que ser uno mismo. Muéstrate como eres y disfruta el proceso. Como dijo el poeta: Lo que seduce nunca suele estar donde se piensa. Cierto.


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Let me go back to the ease of the checklists. When I wrote the note entitled "She is not that into you" a female friend suggested (or beg, perhaps) to write a list to aid women to know when we guys are interested in a woman. In consultation with other female friends they told me the same thing. Well, I think men are so basic that you can notice when we are interested in someone and when we are not, so the list would be very short and even silly. Moreover, on the basis that men are more given to like a women than any women to like a man, either for anthropological, social or whatever reasons. A woman is more selective when choosing a "couple", they have further requirements. We men just need women to be physically attractive to us, no more to say. Clearly, there are things that counts such as personality, compatibility, etc.. But all is in the eye.
That's why I decided to write what we (I) like of a woman. Let's see how lost I am in this matters. If I'm not right corrections are received. Here's the list:


1. Dress properly.
Nothing more attractive than a woman who dresses well, which is different from showing too much skin, because this does not apply in all situations. In other cities may not be true, but at least in Bogota women very "striking" doesn't look good. Here those girls are called "wolves" (kinda bitches but wilder). Sometimes you want to see flashy, like in a "rumba", a social event, etc. But this not always apply. Knowing how to dress well depends on the occasion: At the office you should use something elegant and sober. I love stylish girls, with interesting look, dressing skirt, glasses... Formal and sober, I repeat please, in the name of God don't wear a super-duper-mini-tiny skirt in the office for two reasons: (1) It doesn't look good in that environment and (2) you will not let your heterosexual-men-co-workers do their job. However, if you're at a party let us see something, that's what sells. Leave the glasses in the bag, free your hair and have fun. I repeat and reinforce: A little bit. There's no need for you to upload your leg into your dancing couple.

2. Be interesting.
I love interesting women. I think we can all have some interesting things and the trick is to know what it is. Don't talk only about you and the way you look. Of course, neither talk about how someone else looks. We are not interested!! You can talk about how your day went, your work or college, in that way you can let the man the chance to know you. It's important to have a good conversation. Here's a tip: let the conversation flow and move from one topic to another. You can start talking about the weather and end up in the penguin's anatomy, passing through the equine influenza... it doesn't matter. What matters is that you both enjoy the conversation, hopefully laugh together. Don't speak about your whole life and talk without stopping, you must let the other talk. Remember: Conversation, not monologue.

3. Be naughty.
Uffff. Woman who really knows me knows that I loooove naughtiness and I think is very important. If I would like to speak to nuns I would be priest. I think we must have that something exciting. It's not about being bad but naughty. Evil means to harm someone so... no. In contrast, the mischief or naughtiness is to make something that can be considered "wrong" in some context, but you can enjoy it a lot. Naughty looking. Exciting conversations. In case you are wondering, is not only the sexual aspect. Stealing a cheap candy from your "partner's" desktop and then replace it with a nice chocolate is good. Leave a post-it with an innocent greeting no one knows is exciting and makes complicity. We have to play, create complicity, being like children. Enjoy life (not irresponsible). A fun woman is a magnet.

4. Don't be intense.
If a fun woman is a magnet, a intense woman is a strong repellent. Baygon Men ™? When you call your guy at the office and you start with that "send me a kiiiiiss" stuff... boriiiing. Or those "do you love meeeeee?", "why didn’t you call meeee?" Don't be that jealous. It's normal to have friends, and we have no romance with all our female friends. OK, maybe with some, but I will not get into the personal life of anyone, that's up to you. If you start dating someone and you already are controlling him or want to know everything about him you're wrong and in a sure way to scare him. Control yourself!

5. Let it be. “Dejalo ser”.
As we must let the conversations flow, the relationships are to be left to flow as well, especially at the beginning. By forcing it you do nothing. When you do something forced you don't do it good.

6. Enjoy.
It's so boring to go out with someone who lives bitter, worried or stressed. If you're starting dating with someone ... why don’t enjoy it? have a good time, let go. The most funny relationship stage is the beginning, the conquest, the butterfly in your stomach. And if you don't enjoy that part which is the best, you will not enjoy anything. Don't go with the "to be or not to be" stuff. Don't be existentialist. have fun, that's the premise. You don't live twice. As I said before: being funny is a magnet. Laughter is contagious and a smile is attractive. A woman who smiles sincerely is more beautiful than another who does not.

7. Be sincere and honest.
This is directly related to the previous point. You must be honest with you and your partner. If you like someone you like him. If you don't, don't, and let him know it. Don't start with "well, as he has not called me since yesterday, I will not call him until tomorrow." Baaaaah, bullshit. Be natural, be calm. I hate when a woman is not sincere and clear. When that happen to me I have only one word: "Next!!". If someone is not honest he/she isn't worth it. It's that simple. So if you want to conquer someone don't be tricky or go around playing with anyone. Sincerity.

At the end everything's about being yourself. Show you as well as you are and enjoy the process. As the poet said: What seduces is never where you usually think. True.

17 comentarios:

  1. *mischievous smile* Good things to know, Omar. Maybe one of these days I should write the list of what I look for in a guy... ;-P Ohhhh boyyyy....

    (Since I don't speak that sexy Spanish, there will be no translation here... Though I could translate into decidedly unsexy German for you....) :-)

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  2. OK, I'd like to add a couple more things... These are things I find attractive in guys, but I think most guys find them to be attractive qualities in women as well (correct me if I'm wrong):

    ~ Sense of Adventure -- Relationships should be fun, and wonderful, and also about learning and exeriencing new things. I'm not just talking about changing positions in the bedroom or doing something kinky, I'm talking about the everyday things too. Don't be afraid to try new foods, or maybe watch a movie type you wouldn't usually watch, but that your partner is interested in and wants to share with you. Part of the fun is sharing the things (food, drink, activities, movies, music) you like with your partner, and it's always a real downer when the other person is not willing to try new things.

    ~ Passion -- Nothing dampens the initial excitement of a new relationship more than someone who appears to have no passion at all. :-)

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  3. Momis.. me acaban de llamar de cosmopolitan y de seventeen... quieren este artículo publicado tan pronto como sea posible.. JAJAJAJA...

    Por cierto... hay un punto no tan light pero que debe ser adicionado a los 7 antes mencionados. "CUIDATE DE LOS PELOS Y DE LOS MALOS OLORES" ... FUNDAMENTAL.!!!!

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  4. For the english fellows (Sorry for my bad english)

    Momis... I just received a call from Cosmopolitan and Seventeen... they want to publish your article ASAP!

    By the way... there's a "Not-that-light" point I'd like to add... "Girl you need to take care of those hairs and bad odor" hehehe

    I'm serious...:P

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  5. Bueno pues, está bastante bien definido, y bastante stándar... he escuchado a muchos hombres con este discurso, me lo han hechado, y cuando los dejo o me dejan se casan con la intensa celosa de lo peor!!!! juaaaaaaaaaa Así que no sé hasta qué punto estas listas son reales!!!

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  6. I think these comments u made can be real but even if a girl try to follow 'em and the guy is not interested in her, there won't be human force to convince him otherwise and it works backwards as well. I guess at the end is just luck and real love (the one i haven't met yet) but still waiting but above all things, that he's there somewhere... Sorry if its too corny what i just wrote. I guess this December 7Th makes me feel too god damn sensitive...

    Love your columns, i hope i could write for u one of these days.
    Would love you to visit my blog whenever u have time,

    A.K.A. @ameliepourlain.

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  7. interesting....good thing im sincere and honest lol muazzz

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  8. I agree with you on all points!! Very eloquently spoken Omar, primarily you are eluding to intelligence, in the opposite sex. Nothing is sexier than the quadruple threat in my opinion intelligence, sarcastic, individuality, and finally a gorgeous smile that people is all that a man can ever truly want! P.S. Omar/Blaise is the shiznit!!! Don't argue with me cause u know i'm right motha f***erzs.... lol

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  9. To Juan: Good point, about the chemistry. If you really have chemistry, then the rest doesn't matter. Even if you're a passionate person, if you just really "click" with someone who's not passionate, then so be it. If the chemistry's there, it's there. (And if it's not, it's not...) :-)

    To Grusaky: Quadruple threat, huh? Wow, Grusaky has a romantic side... :-P I'll think twice before shooting you in RSV2 next time... ;-) LOL.....

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  10. Now now, I know you don't have a problem with mujeres. You are so cute. ;D

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  11. Dave is right, bro. Intelligence is a must. It happens sometimes that for some guys it could be kind of scary, but with the right attitude it is a very sexy attribute.

    @Chace

    C'mon!!!... Check Omar's photo again!!, it's just he's so talented in Photoshop. XD!!
    LOL
    just kidding bro, y'know cuteness is a family's attribute, isn't it? ;)

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  12. LOL !!!
    Thanks to all of you guys.

    Of course Dave is right. Intelligence is a must, actually I think if a woman is interesting, fun and naughty... got to be inteligent. For the record... is not photoshop. Is the good ol' fireworks 3.0 :D (We brothers are cute!! Hell yeah)

    I think Chace is not only cute and pretty, but smart. Aren't you??

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  13. me gusta me gusta!! mmmm creo soy la mujer ideal para ti jajajaj besos

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  14. omillar deberias dedicarte a otra cosa eres mejor escritor q ingeniero jejeje

    saludos

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  15. you've got a point!! my wise friend I agree with ur statements!!! u should be a writer..although those are qualities hard to find , no matter if it's a woman or a man mmmmmmmmmmmmmm we all wish to find a person like this but who knows ......... thx for the tagg tqmmmmmmmm
    muakkkkkkk!!! amiguitooo hermoso

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  16. Estoy TOTALMENTE de acuerdo con que la mejor etapa es la del principio, siempre he dicho que la "previa" para mí, es primordial, aplica en todos los sentidos. #grrr

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  17. ¿Me buscabas? Ya no voy a decir que soy una chica 10 sino 7

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